The Best Gift I’ve Ever Given Myself.

The best gift I’ve ever given myself….

Today is my 33rd birthday.

Yes thats right, I’m thirty three.

Thirty three years of life, I’m grateful to be here today. My what a journey! So many lessons learned, obstacles overcome, and meaningful moments. Now Im on to new adventures in San Diego… ready to see what else life has in store.

People always ask what you’re doing to celebrate. Big party? Nice dinner? Buying yourself something you’ve always wanted?

I don’t have anything special planned. No crazy extravaganza. No balloons, or cake, or hot date. I don’t have anything on the agenda because I gave myself a really special gift. Whats inside the present?

Permission to follow my dreams.

Here let me explain.

Cant believe im telling you this but….

my whole life Ive been scared. Scared of failing. Scared of “messing up”. Scared of loss. Fear has controlled many of my choices. Its limited my life potential. Its held me back from going all in and all for my big, scary, dreams.

But now? I am no longer letting fear stop me from my goals.

This change has not been sudden. It took me a long time to get to the place where I am today: fully ready to give myself permission to stop letting fear hold me back and JUST GO FOR IT ALREADY.

It was a gradual and total mindset shift. A change and a complete understanding that “you are what you think”. But I had to fight to get to this place….

Here are a few sneaky little fears I had to let go of to give myself this gift. Want to join me?

Give yourself a gift: let go of these fears to live for your dreams

Fear #1: “You can follow your dreams someday, but right now you need to be responsible.” When is ‘someday?’  Someday is not a day at all, I don’t see it in the calendar.  Today is the only day guaranteed to you.  Today is the only day you can begin to make a difference in your life.  And pursuing your dreams is what life is all about. Don’t wait until ‘someday.’  Make every day a chance to go after what you want.

Fear #2: “You’re totally screwed if it doesn’t work out.” Wrong!  This is a giant, lame load of BS.  I love to think of worst case scenarios (do you too?). But Ive learned that even if the WORST THING EVER HAPPENS, you’ll be just fine. You can recover (and the challenge could even help you grow better).

Fear #3: “It’s safer to stay in your “safe” job.” I obsessed over this fear a LOT in my desire to make the move to San Diego. I COULD play it safe. I could stay in the Bay Area because I had built a business and life in the place. It would be SAFE. But you know what’s even safer than that?  Going home, locking myself in my bedroom, and never, ever coming out.  And just like that I will have flushed my dreams down the toilet.  Ive learned safer doesn’t always mean better… and if your heart is calling you to San Diego, you should answer 😉

Fear #4: “That’s impossible!” Dreams are only impossible if you never do anything about them. If you truly dedicate yourself to an end result, almost anything is possible.  You just have to want it bad enough.

Fear #5: “Only a lucky few “make it.”” That’s because those lucky few got off their rear ends and did something about it!  They had the drive, determination, and willpower that you can have right now.  You can be lucky too.  It’s up to you, and only you.

Fear #6: “You might fail.  And failing is bad.” I’ve feared failure my whole life. But I’ve finally learned that failures are simply stepping stones to success (it took 33 years to learn this!).  No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.  And the biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re too scared to make a mistake.

Fear #7: “You need more money saved before you can take the first step.” This one always gets me. But in reality, you don’t need more money.  You need a plan and a budget. Take baby steps.  Don’t just assume that you must have a certain amount of money saved right now to pursue your dreams.  Instead, ask yourself, “What can I do right now with the money and resources I have right now that will bring me closer to desired goal?”

Fear #8: “It’s too hard.” YOU BET IT IS.  But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.  YOUR DREAMS ARE HARD WORK. But wouldn’t you rather be exhausted from going after your goals than tired over things you don’t care about?? I think success in life hinges on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing for things that matter to YOU.  As long as you remain true to yourself and follow your own interests, values and dreams, you can find success.  Perhaps more importantly, you won’t wake up a few years from now in a life rut wondering how you got so uninspired. Working hard towards dreams that inspire you is what its all about.  Hard work isn’t so hard when its for something you want.

Those are a lot of the fears I’ve given myself permission to LET GO OF. What a gift it has been in my life. This shift has opened up a whole world of possibilities. Ready to let go of some fears with me? Here’s how to start:

Action. 

Face your fears they disappear. Want to go for your big scary dreams?! The only way forward is to stop overthinking and start taking focused ACTION. Yes, you might fail. You might hit hardship. You might feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, or challenged in every way possible. But it’s far better than sitting on the sidelines wishing your dreams could happen. Action breeds confidence, growth, and outcomes. Your life only passes ONE TIME. Your dreams deserve permission. 

Today, as I look out on my big, scary, goals of building a life in San Diego, I’m letting myself know it’s OK to feel the fear and DO IT ANYWAY. My thinking has shifted to a positive, possibility state. I notice now what a game changing difference that makes. And on my 33rd birthday it’s the best present I could haven given myself.  

What’s one big dream you are working for? What fear can you let go of today to open up into more? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. 

Thank you for helping me celebrate this bright new year. May the fear fighting and dream catching continue. 

Love,

Caroline

Ready to go for your dreams?  Contact me for coaching: get clear on your goals, live without fear, and see big results now.